RELIGION

The Religious Right won a major victory today against secular schools by getting prayer allowed in school. Going against the separation of church and state, a basic fundamental law in the U.S., the religionists finally got their toe in the door towards conforming the whole school system towards their dogmatic beliefs.

Their insistence on prayer in school soon backfired on them, however, as it also allowed all other religions to pray in their own fashion as well. Classes are now disrupted 5 times a day for Muslims to spread their prayer rugs and bow toward Mecca. Buddhist sects spin their prayers wheels and rattles in their devotional time distributing classes.

Rather messy are the African animists who have a daily ritual of sacrificing an animal to their gods during prayers, although the meat is then given over to the cafeteria which does help cut down food costs. Hindu practitioners have their allotted time for 'Aum' chants which the schools have been trying to fit into choir practice with mixed results.

More difficult to schedule are the Sufi whirling dervishes whose twirling dances bring them to a mystical 'union with God'. Some schools have successfully fit them into the physical education slot.

All of this unforeseen religious freedom has the Christian fundamentalists fuming. They, of course, insist that the freedom of prayer in school meant only Christian prayer, not everyone else's. Unfortunately, this freedom is interpreted by law as freedom for ALL religions.

Especially irksome to them are the Satanists, whose blood rituals during prayer also have school nurses worried.

EUREKA....EUREKA................

Being alive can raise the risk of developing cancer, a German led research project announced today.

A study of over 6 billion people worldwide carried out over the last 20 years, and costing $8bn found that being alive dramatically increases the risk of cancer.

Active cells duplicate and recycle, which has been found to be the number one cause for both the malignant and benign forms of cancer, far in advance of other previously attributed causes, the research revealed.

"I think these findings put to bed the debates about smoking, alcohol abuse and having been evil in a past life," said lead researcher Prof. Dr. Earnest Frankenstein.

"This is definitive evidence that you can do all those things guilt free now, as long as you're dead when you do them."

Being alive had previously been thought to be highly beneficial in the fight against cancer.

Scientists unveiled the breakthrough study in panic medical journal "DEATH!" and it provides a major step forward in the understanding and treatment of cancers.

For the study, participants had to stay alive and see how long it took to develop a cancer. Prof. Dr. Frankenstein admitted, "The findings were overwhelming; almost everyone who reported a cancer was living."

When asked about the projects astronomical budget, the professor replied, "These days with the exchange rates, it works out much less in Euros or Pounds. People shouldn't worry; this breakthrough will save much more in the future by not wasting money that would have otherwise been used to treat dead patients. We now know that they are in the low-risk group."

"This is only the beginning," research fellow Hans Grubber added. "We have begun and are planning for many more multi-billion dollar projects to further assess what effect different aspects of living will have on your health. We are currently doing research into what effect standing or sitting has on the body's cancer fighting capabilities. It's a very exciting time to be working here."


JUST KIDDING
http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2005/02/66579(READ THIS "HIV V/S CANCER")

Fucker's

God during a recent appearance told that one of his/her pet peeves was screaming his name during sexy time.

God reminded the people that many reverent people like the Jews refuse to even speak the divine name out of respect and so when teenagers humping in the backseat of a Ford or some sad lonely soul committing the sin of Onan gives a shout out to the High Holy One, it can really get under your skin, if spiritual being's had skin...

God speaking on behalf of all of the mythic prime movers urged the fuckers of the world to enjoy themselves with all of the verve and vigor that , well, God gave the fearless biped: "But Please, please, no more Allah be praised, Jesus Christ, that's great, Buddha, my clit,my clit! Leave us disembodied spirits out of it and then go ahead, fuck like rabbits..."

TO HELL AND BACK

Those who have learned by experience what physical pain and bodily anguish mean, belong together all the world over; they are united by a secret bond. One and all they know the horrors of suffering to which man can be exposed, and one and all they know the longing to be free from pain.
– Albert Schweitzer

I've been to Hell and back again-

So much, I've lost count of the times.

Sometimes provoked there by salesmen-

At others, through dutiful climbs.

With each return, I slightly change-

Becoming more wise than before.

Evolved, as my cells rearrange-

I regain control of my core.

Although Hell's fire, burns deep with pain-

The journeys have all seemed worthy.

Feeling like a cool summer's rain,

Joy soon replaces agony.

I bear many scars from my trips,

Though in time they all seem to fade.

Like watching a solar eclipse,

The light always follows the shade.

I have gained true wisdom from Hell,

Always reminded of life's worth's.

The many advantages dwell-

In chances for many rebirths.

I have gained new leases on life,

In Hell many things I have purged.

I have learned to deal with the strife-

For I always have re-emerged.

Would anyone know what white-

Without being exposed to black?

The darkness would increase at night,

If the sun chose not to come back.

Heaven could not be recognized,

If Hell's presence did not exist.

Along the way, this was realized-

Happiness began to persist.

Now when shadows envelope me,

I never stay there for too long.

I've found that Hell quite faithfully,

Returns me to where I belong.

CORRUPTION

Corruption of public officials poses a special problem in developing nations because of the government's dominant role in the economy. When a special interest groups or minorities have no legal channels of influence, corruption may be an effective method of influencing government policy. Corruption also represents a government's efforts to cope informally with a rate of social change that is beyond the capabilities of the formal political system. In the west and some of the underdeveloped countries corruption has given new groups the opportunity to influenced the government without resorting to violence. In areas where loyalties are restricted to kinsmen, corruption may be the only way to foster commitment to a wider group, such as a political party. There is another form called market corruption where the wealthy elites will compete for favours. The beneficiaries of corruption also depend on power relationships among the rulers, the bureaucracy, and political parties. The ruling elite will always profit to some extend, but in a system with competitive parties, benefits extend to the party cadre and voters. Market corruption can promote economic development as seen in Philippines, Thailand, and Malaysia. On a second thought India can be included. It raises business business costs beyond the profitable level or unless uncertainty about governmental decisions prevails. Elites can impede political integration since it excludes voters. Market corruption can also affect the pricing system and harm community interests when there are no centralised controls.